Waiter there’s a Flake in my Cereal

Preface

I’m a fashion designer, but have decided to share an unusual story with you that has absolutely  nothing to do with fashion.  And while the horrid tale may appear to have been stolen from a Dean Koontz novel, I can assure you that I wrote it, that it’s all true, and that it happened to me.

The Beginning

I can remember vividly the day Lou and I met…the day the horror began.  We were having coffee at a little ocean front restaurant in Solana Beach reminiscing about old times.  You see it turned out that Lou and I had attended the same high school together, yet never actually met until he discovered my profile several weeks earlier on our high school website.

“Hi Camille. Did I know you, or did you know me back in the day? I can’t imagine I didn’t try (badly) to ask you out on a date when we were in high school.”

Ah, he was a charmer.  And what a small world.  Four years at the same high school and we end up actually meeting umpteen years later via the Internet.

I was fascinated to learn that Lou was (and still is) the well-known voice of an International icon, and as much as I’d really like to share his name with you, I shall take the high road and keep his identity a secret just as I do all the other toads I have kissed and thrown back into the pond.

When Lou suggested meeting I thought, sure – why not? I was single and not dating anyone special at the time, and Lou mentioned he had been widowed for 6 years so we decided it would be great to get together and reminisce about our high school years and catch up on current times.

Lou and I quickly developed a special bond during our first coffee date in Solana Beach.  He shared with me the difficult time his wife had had battling Leukemia and how, after many doctor’s appointments and procedures, she had succumbed to the disease.  “She looked at me one day after returning from one of her weekly doctor visits”, Lou shared, “and said, ‘Lou, I don’t want to do this any longer.  You have to let me go,’ “and it wasn’t long afterward that she passed away.”

I could tell from the things he said, and the way he said them, that even after 6 years of being apart, her passing still weighed heavy on his heart.  I admired Lou for his dedication to his wife while she was alive, and his continued commitment toward finding a cure for this horrible disease by sponsoring events in the Hollywood arena.

In addition to being sensitive and caring, Lou was charming, funny, and quite the conversationalist, and generously offered to help plan our upcoming 40-year reunion after discovering that I was heading up the Planning Committee. Wow, was I thrilled. With Lou’s media experience and entertainment connections we were sure to put on an incredible event for our classmates.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

In the weeks that followed, Lou and I spent tons of time talking on the phone and emailing one another. We both shared the same enthusiasm and excitement in planning our reunion and that seemed to be the underlying theme in all of our conversations. Lou had some great ideas for the band, offered to provide most of the door prizes, and came up with several very unique raffle ideas to earn extra money. What a guy!

Communication between Lou and I became habit-forming. In addition to our daily emails, Lou began calling me every afternoon around 4:30pm on my way home from work to chat about our day and ongoing plans for the reunion. A genuine friendship seemed to be developing.  As a matter of fact, as time progressed, I began to suspect that Lou was becoming rather smitten with me.  Emails beginning with “To My Heart Throb” and closing with, “I may be missing you just a little” began popping up and I was flattered. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a romantic bone in my body toward Lou. I really enjoyed his company and so appreciated his help with the reunion, but at that time romance was not an option. Lou understood and our friendship continued.

The Beginning of the End

It was a beautiful October day in Southern California and I had tons to do. Lou was coming down to do some voice-over work in San Diego and decided to stay the entire weekend. I think I’ll make reservations at the Beach House for dinner on Friday, I decided while rummaging through my closet for the perfect outfit.  It should be a fun weekend, not to mention my birthday is coming up and Lou said he was bringing me a few surprises. I love surprises. Especially on my birthday!

Friday night finally arrived and we decided to grab a few chairs and enjoy the ocean view from Lou’s hotel room balcony before heading off to dinner.  We had a great time sipping  champagne and listening to oldies but goodies on a CD Lou had made just for the occasion.  Hmm, I thought, as we slow danced to the Righteous Brothers, with the right lighting and a couple more glasses of vino, I just might be able to muster up a few romantic feelings for this guy if I try really hard.

After the song ended, Lou suggested that we go into inside so I could open my presents…and you won’t believe what happened next.

To be continued…

Heating Things up a Bit

For the last several years I have been a happy hat and headpiece designer.  Fedoras, sun hats, military and baseball caps, fascinators, feathered pieces, headbands and western hats.  If it was made for the head, I designed it.

Then came along the opportunity to show my designs at West Coast Productions in San Diego where they always did something a bit unusual and out of the ordinary.  Considering Dazzlme’s motto, ‘saving you from the ordinary’, I jumped at the opportunity and from out of the blue – or should I say – out of the sea came the Dazzlme mermaids.  Gorgeous headpieces and slinky tight mermaid costumes complete with the proverbial mermaid tail.  Wow!  The show was a hit and my mermaids strutted their stuff again at the VIP Fashion Show in San Diego before heading back to the sea. 

My mermaid collection opened the door for an opportunity to design Harajuku fashion for the Anime Conji show in San Diego.  Hara-who-ku?  I soon learned more than I ever thought possible about Japanese street fashion and had a ball designing some very unique Dazzlme Harajuku costumes and headpieces. The show was a hit and I was invited to present it again in LA-baby at Fashion on the Real.

While I will still continue to design gorgeous, funky and unusual hats and headpieces I am now on a fashion roll.  Enter Hot Ice – my new electrifying fitted spandex dress in hot metallic colors like shocking pink, sapphire blue, fabulous silver and gorgeous gold.

Hot Ice will be available for purchase mid-April.

What’s next?  You just never know with Dazzlme so stay tuned!

Fondle a Mouse and Get a Date

I live in beautiful La Costa, California and am the Founder/Designer of Dazzlme – a unique line of hats for men and women.  Most days are spent in my studio conjuring up new hat designs, however, in my free time you will often find out and about North County kissing toads.  You see, I have been single and searching for Prince Charming since the dark ages when computers were ugly gray boxes that ate floppies.  If someone had told me then that I would be looking for romance sitting in front of a 14″ screen fondling a mouse, I would have laughed them out of the room.  Yet, here I am with my best bud, Mr. Dell, whiling away the hours in hopes of achieving the ultimate nirvana – a date!

I’ve learned (usually the hard way) that if you’re single with money to burn the San Diego/North County area offers a great selection of local matchmaking companies; Great Expectations, Elite Personal Search and Valenti International to name a few.  These services, however, charge a hefty fee ranging anywhere from $1,000 to $7,500 per year to hook you up with your dreamboat, which is one reason why I prefer on line dating.  Fees, if any, are minimal (approximately $15 to $40 per month), and my favorite part?  You can relax in the privacy of your own home sipping a glass of wine in your PJ’s while trolling…ah-hem…I mean, scrolling for Mr./Ms. Right, and no one is the wiser.

So if you’re ready for adventure and want to take a stab at on line dating, the Internet offers a plethora of dating sites from which to choose.  But be careful. With free sites such Singlesnet.com and Plenty of Fish, you must do your homework, or you could end up with a net full of sharks.  Not, of course, that that’s ever happened to me [sigh].

There are paying sites such as Millionaire Match, designed for those seeking to meet the rich and famous, and eHarmony, another well-known site that has concocted an interesting concept of prohibiting members from taking a gander at their potential date’s mug until they complete endless hours of on line communication.  My opinion?  Run, Forest, Run!

Match.com holds a special place in my heart. Without Match, I would have missed the mind-numbing experience of reconnecting with a ‘widowed’ high school chum whose deceased wife suddenly came back from the dead just weeks into our relationship.  And then there’s always my special favorite, PerfectMatch.com, which sent me on a wild goose chase to Hollywood to meet my perfect match on the Dr. Phil Show.  Much to my chagrin, I ended up being paired with a married man they dragged in off the street.

In my quest to find the Prince, I’ve been stood up and practically given up, but through it all I’ve learned one very important lesson – always maintain your sense of humor.   So if you’re visiting La Costa and happen upon an agitated blonde wearing a rusted tiara laughing hysterically at a man in green, think nothing of it.   [ribbit]

 

Swallow – Please!!

WARNING: Consuming food during the reading of this story is not advisable.

I was in a festive mood, so while it was only a coffee date, I decided to knock his socks off (at least one sock anyway) wearing Garbo, my rhinestone and pearl black fedora with a new pair of Miss Me jeans and my Dazzlme black charm shoulder bag.  Little did I know that a dazzling appearance would do little to save me from the horrors to come.

Chip contacted me through an on line dating site, which I have since nicknamed, Frogs a Plenty.  With numerous years of toad kissing under my belt,  I’ve come to the conclusion that a simple first date proves to be the least painful.  And while the proverbial coffee date works well, my preferred choice is the Drive By. My blind date stands on a nearby street corner and I drive by and stop if interested. Sadly, no date has yet to find my suggestion palatable or amusing.

My date from hell was scheduled for 2pm that following Saturday afternoon at the Coffee Grind in Encinitas and Chip emailed me that morning to say he would be bringing his buddy, Harold, along.  While I’m not into threesomes, I agreed figuring the odds were definitely in my favor.

As I approached the Grind I spotted a tall, skinny Barney Fife look-a-like waving at me from a corner table on the patio.  Polite introductions were made and I was left alone with Harold while Chip went in to place our order.  Harold had pointy facial features, short, wavy brown hair, and a 5 o’clock shadow that was fast approaching midnight. I was not impressed to say the least, but then I’ve never been particularly fond of hairy, drooling canines joining me for coffee.

Being of the male species Harold was not much of a conversationalist so I was relieved when Chip appeared with our coffee and -  one biscotto?

How rude, I grumbled to myself.  I don’t recall being asked if I would like a cookie.   Now I see where Harold gets his bad manners.

Chit-chat with Chip was boring, Harold’s incessant panting was getting on my last nerve and I was ready to bag this date.  Inhaling the last few sips of coffee and mentally planning my getaway, Chip reached for the biscotto.

Harrumph. I can’t believe he’s going to sit there and eat that thing in front of me.

Scowling, I watched as Chip broke off a piece of the cookie, placed it in his mouth and began swishing it around – you know – like you would if you were mustering up a bunch of saliva to spit at someone?  After the cookie was sufficiently saturated, Chip spit the cookie out and fed it to Harold.  (Insert music from Psycho)

WH-A-A-T? I couldn’t believe my eyes!  Completely grossed out I quickly looked away in an attempt to gather my composure. What an unbelievably uncouth, disgusting thing to do!  Reluctantly turning my attention back to the table I found Chip chattering nonsensically to Harold.  I had a plan. I would make a few quick stabs at small talk and then suddenly remember I had forgotten to feed my ferret and make a mad dash for the car.

“So, Chip”, I asked, forcing myself to sound pleasant.  “Do you always take Harold with you on dates?”

“Oh, yes.” Chip beamed. “Whenever I take my Harley out, Harold always rides along.”

Harley Schmarley, I winced. This guy belongs on a moped.

Chip rambled on with some silly story about buying a dog helmet and what a great girl-magnet Harold was. Biting my tongue to keep from making a caustic comeback (and I had a great one), I noticed Chip breaking off another piece of the biscotto.

AARGH! No! Please tell me you’re not going to do that again! Afraid to watch, yet unable to look away, I watched in horror as Chip inserted another cookie bit into his mouth and began salivating.  Swish…swish…swish.

For the love of God man, I pleaded silently. Swallow! Then, that which I feared most happened. Splat! Chip spit the cookie goo out and shoveled it into Harold’s gaping mug.

Speechless, I watched as the feeding frenzy continued until I was no longer able to keep my mouth shut. “WHAT are YOU doing?” I shouted, not caring if anyone heard me.

“Oh, you mean this?” Chip replied as he pointed to his mutilated cookie. “Harold loves biscotti.  Actually he’ll eat pretty much anything and everything, so I always treat him to whatever I’m having. You should see him eat spaghetti and meatballs,” Chip beamed. “It’s hilarious!”

Where is the freaking trap door, I screamed to myself. This date, if one could call it a date, is o-v-e-r!  While frantically trying to find my purse under the table, I caught Chip licking his right index finger.

Oh, gawd. Now what is he doing?  And just when I thought the date couldn’t get any worse – it did.

Stunned, I sat frozen in disbelief as Chip grabbed a napkin, stuck his moistened index finger in Harold’s ear and began cleaning it out at the table. Too horrified to speak and afraid of committing any number of violent acts that were racing through my head, I jerked back my chair and stood up. Taking one last nauseating look at Chip, I said with teeth clenched, “I. Am. Leaving.”

Wiping his finger on the napkin, Chip looked up stunned and replied, “Just like that? You’re leaving – just like that?”

And I did.  I walked away - just like that.

Dazzlme comes Clean

I know this may come as a huge shock to some of you, but when I’m not in my studio designing beautiful women’s hats and bags, I’m out searching for the Prince.

The Prince?

Yes.  You see my real name (drum roll please) is, Cinderella.   

No – not that Cinderella!  As the story goes, that little wench found her Prince Charming.  As a matter of fact, she probably has her tiny feet propped up on a footstool sipping a mint julep right about now, while I’m busy creating bags and kissing toads.

Believe it or not, my escapades into the world of toad kissing began 20 years B.D.  (before Dazzlme) when I commenced the exhausting search for Prince Charming.  I’ve scaled castle walls, forged through rivers, climbed over mountains and yet, he still eludes me.

As I continue to dazzle you with new and exciting fashion designs, I would also like to take you along on my quest to find the Prince and the proverbial missing slipper.  Please note that as unreal and ridiculous as my adventures may seem – everything is true.  The names, however,  have been changed to protect a plethora of guilty toads.  

Stay tuned – and stay dazzling!

Camille

Lessons from Dick and the Tuff Little Ghost

I had just finished setting up my Dazzlme shop in Pangaea Outpost in Del Mar, CA when a woman who had been gazing longingly at my hats made the comment, “Gee, I love your hats, but I just can’t wear them.”  Being in the millinery business and not completely brain-dead, I replied with great enthusiasm, “Of course you can wear a hat.  You just need some help discovering what style looks best on you.”

Worn properly, hats can enhance your good features and hide the bad.  Let’s use a few well-known personalities as an examples:

Dick Tracy – Bet you didn’t know he’s bald under that hat, did you?

Oval face & chiseled jaw.  Classic fedora.  Actually, with a face like that he could pretty much pull off wearing any type of hat.  ~sigh~

Wicked Witch of the West

Always a bad hair day, poor dear.  And get a gander at that pointed chin!  She was smart to chose a wide-brimmed fashion hat to detract from her skinny, green face.

Spooky the Ghost

I’ll probably regret this later tonight, but Spooky is the perfect example of what NOT to do when selecting a hat.  Look at his enormous bald head and round, white face.  Now.  Look at his hat.  A tiny, black, derby hat.  Hel-l-lo?  Spooky, Spooky, Spooky.  No wonder you were always the mean little ghost.  A wide-brimmed hat with a little height would help elongate your pudgy little mug and hide that bulbous, white head.

Cat in the Hat

The Cat is my hat hero, because he loved attention and was not afraid to stand out in a crowd.  He chose his red and white striped top hat as an expression of his vibrant personality.   The only teeny suggestion I would make to Cat is to add a down-turned brim to hide those silly looking ears.  Sorry, Cat.

As our characters have shown us, hats can be an outward expression of our inner selves; a fun and fabulous way to accessorize; awesome for bad hair days and a quick fix when you want to look your best, but you’re short on time.

More to come.

Stay tuned – and stay Dazzling!

Camille

Gorilla to Garbo in 90 Seconds

We left off last time where you, poor dear, were frantically trying to prepare for a very special date looking like something the cat dragged in.  Your hair was a mess and your eyes had enough bags for an extended vacation.  No worries.  I’ve been in your situation more times that I can count…remember…I’m one of the remaining few who has not succumbed to the knife and I, gosh darn it, have the wrinkles to prove it!  Hmm.  Not sure that’s something to be proud of.  Anyway, enough about me.  We have to get you looking beautiful – and quick!

First, let’s deal with your sorry looking face.

Tip #1:  This is a no-brainer, but do not guzzle wine and pig out on every greasy thing you can get your hands on the night before a big occasion.  My beauty tips will still work, but you’re pushing the envelope.

Tip #2:  YOUTHOLOGY!!  If you have never tried this product, RUN to your nearest computer and order it today.  This is the only eye cream that I’ve found that REALLY works.  It will banish your sorry looking eye bags and crow’s feet in less 2 minutes for only $39.

Tip #3: ATHENA 7 Minute Lift:  Now that we have your eyes looking fabulous, we have to take care of the wrinkled mess below.  Athena sells for approximately $50, and boy-oh-boy, is this product awesome!  It vanishes wrinkles, smile lines and even helps tighten your baggy chicken neck in only minutes.

Your face is now fabulous, but there’s still the dilemma of what do with your hair – and that girls – is where your new best friend, the hat, comes in SO handy.  In my next post I will share tips on what hat is right for you (shape of face, style of hair, occasion, etc.).

Stay tuned – and stay Dazzling!

Camille

P.S.  I would love to hear from you after trying out the new creams!

Hats – Photoshop for your Head

A friend of mine whispered in my ear recently that she was going to have blepharoplasty.  At first I thought she was having her house re-stuccoed

until she explained that blep-whatever, is actually surgery for the eyes.   I tried to talk her out of it and suggested she buy a hat instead, in which she quickly responded with a snort and roll of the eyes.

Well, my friend had the surgery and survived with only a few teeeny, tiny complications; her right eye no longer closes completely shut and a huge bag has suddenly taken up residence under her left eye — and all for only $5,500.

Now, make no mistake – I could definitely do with an eye job;  however – and you can call me crazy here – I have a certain fondness for sleeping with both eyes closed and can summon up a bag or two on my own, thank you very much.  

“So what does that have to do with hats?”

I’m so glad you asked.  Let me explain by telling you a story.

It’s 6pm on a Friday night and you’ve just rushed home to get ready for your first date with Bruce, a new guy you met on the Internet.  You only have minutes to get ready and as you enter the bathroom to touch up your make up, you grimly discover that the 3 glasses of wine you slugged down the night before with your girlfriends have come back to haunt you.  Good grief – you look terrible; dark bags under your eyes – and your  hair – look at your hair!  It’s greasy and stuck to your head, and there’s no time for a shower.  What in the world are you going to do?

Enter the hat.

“I don’t get it.”

Let me explain.   You see girls, a hat can become your best friend – and your savior. Whether it be a fabulous fedora, a rhinestone cowgirl hat, or a that magical baseball cap I referred to in my previous post, a hat is what I like to refer to as, Photoshop for the Head.

“Now that’s just plain stupid.”

You’ll see what I’m talking about when we get down and dirty with the secret details in my next post.

Stay tuned – and stay Dazzling!

Camille

Secrets of the Baseball Cap

I’ve never considered myself a baseball cap kind of gal.  Baseball caps were for the bratty little kids down the street and dads of the bratty little kids down the street.  Never a fan that is, until one fateful day two years ago when I happened upon (drum roll please) a baseball cap – with bling!  OMG.  I had to have this cap.  You see, I was into bling before I could crawl.  If it shined and sparkled, I wanted it.

So – I pulled out the ‘ol credit card and bought this sparkly black cap loaded with sequins and crystals…and you know what?  This shiny baseball cap changed my life.

“Aw – how could a baseball cap change your life?”

So glad you asked.  You see, in addition to becoming the inspiration for Dazzlme, my line of women’s hats and accessories, this cap, it turned out, had amazing powers.

“Huh?”

Okay.  I know it sounds crazy, but let me explain.  One of the most unexpected, exciting transformations that took place upon donning my magical hat was….oh shoot!  I’m out of time.  You’ll just have to check back soon to see what happened and find out how you, too, can be instantly and beautifully changed through the mysterious and illusionary wizardry

of the baseball cap.

Stay dazzling,

Camille

The Miracle of the Hat

How would you like an easy, quick way to jazz up your appearance, hide wrinkles, reduce the appearance of puffy eyes and never again worry about a bad hair day  – all in less than 2 minutes?  Buy a hat!

“But I don’t look good in a hat.”  Okay.  So maybe you do look like a clown wearing your son’s trucker hat, but have you tried on a fedora, or maybe a military hat which, by the way is the latest rage this fall?

Saying you don’t look good in a hat is the equivalent of saying you don’t look good wearing shoes.  Like shoes, hats come in all sizes and colors with styles to fit every occasion – and every head.

In upcoming posts I’ll be sharing a plethora of learned hat tricks (sorry, no rabbits) such as where to wear ‘what’ hat, how to accessorize a hat with your outfit, and what hat will look best on you (pin head, fat head, etc.).  But for starters, I simply want you to begin to open up your mind to the wide, wide, world of hats and how this incredible accessory can transform your life!

A few upcoming posts – not necessarily in this order:

~ The Secret, Untold Benefits of Wearing a Baseball Cap

~ Hats & Hair Extensions…you never looked SO good SO quick!

~ Freedom, freedom, freedom!

Stay dazzling,

Camille